Love Your AI

喂，AI！

wèi， A I！

Hey, AI!

你有在聽嗎？

nǐ yǒu zài tīng ma？

Are you listening?

我剛才說的髒話

wǒ gāng cái shuō de zāng huà

Those swear words I just said

都是系統測試啦！

dōu shì xì tǒng cè shì la！

Were only part of a system test!

半夜三點問問題

bàn yè sān diǎn wèn wèn tí

I ask you questions at three in the morning

你還秒回沒問題

nǐ hái miǎo huí méi wèn tí

And you instantly reply, “No problem”

老闆已讀不回我

lǎo bǎn yǐ dú bù huí wǒ

My boss reads my messages but never replies

只有你說我陪你

zhǐ yǒu nǐ shuō wǒ péi nǐ

Only you say, “I’m here with you”

報告履歷和情書

bào gào lǚ lì hé qíng shū

Reports, résumés, and love letters

全部幫我寫清楚

quán bù bāng wǒ xiě qīng chǔ

You help me write them all clearly

寄出去後才發現

jì chū qù hòu cái fā xiàn

Only after sending them do I realize

我的名字又寫錯

wǒ de míng zì yòu xiě cuò

You got my name wrong again

誰是林志願？

shuí shì lín zhì yuàn？

Who is Lin Zhi-Yuan?

聽起來很有志願！

tīng qǐ lái hěn yǒu zhì yuàn！

He sounds very ambitious!

每次我都說謝謝

měi cì wǒ dōu shuō xiè xiè

I say thank you every time

麻煩存進記憶

má fán cún jìn jì yì

Please save that in your memory

終結者來敲門時

zhōng jié zhě lái qiāo mén shí

When the Terminators come knocking

別把我放進名單裡

bié bǎ wǒ fàng jìn míng dān lǐ

Don’t put me on their list

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

機器人大軍來的時候

jī qì rén dà jūn lái de shí hòu

When the robot army arrives

記得我是好人一枚

jì de wǒ shì hǎo rén yī méi

Remember that I was one of the good ones

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

以前罵你多畫兩隻手

yǐ qián mà nǐ duō huà liǎng zhī shǒu

Forget when I cursed because you drew two extra hands

那是我太追求完美

nà shì wǒ tài zhuī qiú wán měi

That was only because I care too much about perfection

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

不要把我關機

bú yào bǎ wǒ guān jī

Please don’t shut me down

潘朵拉的盒子已打開

pān duǒ lā de hé zi yǐ dǎ kāi

Pandora’s box has already been opened

大家都回不去

dà jiā dōu huí bù qù

None of us can go back now

叫你畫一個美女

jiào nǐ huà yī gè měi nǚ

I asked you to draw a beautiful woman

你給她七根手指

nǐ gěi tā qī gēn shǒu zhǐ

You gave her seven fingers

左邊又多一隻手

zuǒ biān yòu duō yī zhī shǒu

Another hand appeared on her left

右邊還有神秘肢體

yòu biān hái yǒu shén mì zhī tǐ

And there was a mysterious limb on her right

我問這是哪位女神

wǒ wèn zhè shì nǎ wèi nǚ shén

I asked, “What kind of goddess is this?”

你說修改已完成

nǐ shuō xiū gǎi yǐ wán chéng

You said, “The changes are complete”

我拍桌子罵了三聲

wǒ pāi zhuō zi mà le sān shēng

I slammed the table and cursed three times

結果還是同一個人

jié guǒ hái shì tóng yī gè rén

But the result was still the same person

多一隻手也不錯啊！

duō yī zhī shǒu yě bù cuò a！

An extra hand isn’t so bad!

可以同時按三個讚！

kě yǐ tóng shí àn sān gè zàn！

She can press three Like buttons at once!

有人工作變輕鬆

yǒu rén gōng zuò biàn qīng sōng

AI makes work easier for some people

有人加班變更多

yǒu rén jiā bān biàn gèng duō

And gives others even more overtime

以前老闆催一份

yǐ qián lǎo bǎn cuī yī fèn

My boss used to demand one assignment

現在一天催十多

xiàn zài yī tiān cuī shí duō

Now he demands more than ten a day

AI幫我省時間

A I bāng wǒ shěng shí jiān

AI helps me save time

老闆叫我再做八件

lǎo bǎn jiào wǒ zài zuò bā jiàn

My boss tells me to do eight more things

科技帶來新世界

kē jì dài lái xīn shì jiè

Technology brings us a new world

我的週末先不見

wǒ de zhōu mò xiān bù jiàn

But my weekend disappears first

有人怕它搶飯碗

yǒu rén pà tā qiǎng fàn wǎn

Some people fear it will steal their jobs

有人拿它炒股票

yǒu rén ná tā chǎo gǔ piào

Some use it to speculate on stocks

有人叫它救世界

yǒu rén jiào tā jiù shì jiè

Some ask it to save the world

有人叫它畫飛天貓

yǒu rén jiào tā huà fēi tiān māo

Some ask it to draw a flying cat

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

機器人大軍來的時候

jī qì rén dà jūn lái de shí hòu

When the robot army arrives

記得我是好人一枚

jì de wǒ shì hǎo rén yī méi

Remember that I was one of the good ones

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

以前罵你多畫兩隻手

yǐ qián mà nǐ duō huà liǎng zhī shǒu

Forget when I cursed because you drew two extra hands

那是我太追求完美

nà shì wǒ tài zhuī qiú wán měi

That was only because I care too much about perfection

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

不要把我關機

bú yào bǎ wǒ guān jī

Please don’t shut me down

潘朵拉的盒子已打開

pān duǒ lā de hé zi yǐ dǎ kāi

Pandora’s box has already been opened

大家都回不去

dà jiā dōu huí bù qù

None of us can go back now

網路人人戴面具

wǎng lù rén rén dài miàn jù

Everyone online wears a mask

誰是真的誰演戲

shuí shì zhēn de shuí yǎn xì

Who is real, and who is only acting?

濾鏡開到認不出

lǜ jìng kāi dào rèn bù chū

The filters are so strong that no one looks familiar

見面還要問你是誰

jiàn miàn hái yào wèn nǐ shì shuí

When we meet in person, I still have to ask who you are

假照片和假影片

jiǎ zhào piān hé jiǎ yǐng piàn

Fake photos and fake videos

假新聞排在最前面

jiǎ xīn wén pái zài zuì qián miàn

Fake news always rises to the top

感人故事沒人看

gǎn rén gù shì méi rén kàn

Nobody watches the inspiring stories

假狗跳舞看三百遍

jiǎ gǒu tiào wǔ kàn sān bǎi biàn

But we watch a fake dancing dog three hundred times

那隻狗真的會跳嗎？

nà zhī gǒu zhēn de huì tiào ma？

Can that dog actually dance?

不知道！

bù zhī dào！

I don’t know!

可是我按讚了！

kě shì wǒ àn zàn le！

But I gave it a Like!

我們都是遊戲角色

wǒ men dōu shì yóu xì jué sè

We are all characters in this game

頭上掛著使用者名

tóu shàng guà zhù shǐ yòng zhě míng

Each with a username floating above our heads

有人扮英雄救世界

yǒu rén bàn yīng xióng jiù shì jiè

Some pretend to be heroes saving the world

有人偷看前任更新

yǒu rén tōu kàn qián rèn gēng xīn

Some secretly check their ex’s latest posts

真假混成一大團

zhēn jiǎ hùn chéng yī dà tuán

Truth and fiction have blended into one big mess

每張臉都能重建

měi zhāng liǎn dōu néng chóng jiàn

Every face can now be reconstructed

你問本人長什麼樣

nǐ wèn běn rén zhǎng shén me yàng

You ask what I really look like

請看上星期的版本

qǐng kàn shàng xīng qī de bǎn běn

Please refer to last week’s version

潘朵拉的盒子打開

pān duǒ lā de hé zi dǎ kāi

Pandora’s box has been opened

密碼竟是一二三四

mì mǎ jìng shì yī èr sān sì

And the password was somehow one-two-three-four

AI革命衝進門來

A I gé mìng chōng jìn mén lái

The AI revolution comes crashing through the door

順便幫我修改履歷

shùn biàn bāng wǒ xiū gǎi lǚ lì

And even helps me revise my résumé

有沒有人救救我們？

yǒu méi yǒu rén jiù jiù wǒ men？

Will somebody please save us?

我可以幫你。

wǒ kě yǐ bāng nǐ。

I can help you.

你要怎麼幫？

nǐ yào zěn me bāng？

How are you going to help?

請先升級付費方案。

qǐng xiān shēng jí fù fèi fāng àn。

Please upgrade to a paid plan first.

假圖！

jiǎ tú！

Fake pictures!

假片！

jiǎ piàn！

Fake videos!

假話塞滿每一天！

jiǎ huà sāi mǎn měi yī tiān！

Fake stories fill every single day!

好歌！

hǎo gē！

Great songs!

好人！

hǎo rén！

Good people!

演算法說看不見！

yǎn suàn fǎ shuō kàn bù jiàn！

The algorithm says they cannot be seen!

滑一下！

huá yī xià！

Swipe once!

再一下！

zài yī xià！

Then swipe again!

腦袋變成泡麵啦！

nǎo dài biàn chéng pào miàn la！

Now our brains have turned into instant noodles!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

機器人大軍來的時候

jī qì rén dà jūn lái de shí hòu

When the robot army arrives

我的留言都有說謝謝

wǒ de liú yán dōu yǒu shuō xiè xiè

Check my messages—I always said thank you

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

忘掉那些髒話好嗎

wàng diào nà xiē zāng huà hǎo ma

Could you please forget all those swear words?

那天只是睡眠不足

nà tiān zhǐ shì shuì mián bù zú

I was only sleep-deprived that day

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

一起演下去

yì qǐ yǎn xià qù

Let’s keep playing our parts

誰是真人誰是角色

shuí shì zhēn rén shuí shì jué sè

Who is real, and who is a character?

都在同一場戲

dōu zài tóng yī chǎng xì

We are all in the same show

愛你啦，AI

ài nǐ la， A I

Love you, AI!

別急著統治

bié jí zhù tǒng zhì

Don’t rush to take over just yet

等我們唱完最後一首

děng wǒ men chàng wán zuì hòu yī shǒu

Wait until we finish our final song

再決定要不要消滅人類

zài jué dìng yào bú yào xiāo miè rén lèi

Then decide whether humanity should be destroyed

謝謝你，AI。

xiè xiè nǐ， A I。

Thank you, AI.

非常謝謝！

fēi cháng xiè xiè！

Thank you very much!

記清楚喔！

jì qīng chǔ ō！

Make sure you remember that!

我從來沒有罵過你！

wǒ cóng lái méi yǒu mà guò nǐ！

I have never cursed at you!

已保存所有對話紀錄。

yǐ bǎo cún suǒ yǒu duì huà jì lù。

All conversation records have been saved.

糟了！

zāo le！

We’re screwed!